April 24 | Disciplining Children
Proverbs 13:24, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”
Today as parents we have a choice to either obey what God said in His eternal unchanging Word or follow the ever-changing trends of our godless culture. In the past, corporal punishment (spanking) children was a norm. It’s how children from biblical times to colonial times were disciplined and taught respect. And before we move on, let’s just think about how well it worked. Chances are your grandparents were spanked, so do you think your grandparents were better behaved then today’s non-spanked children or worse? They were better behaved. The question itself is almost laughable.
Our current generation, especially in the U.S., has the highest level of obesity, crime, rebellion, lack of respect, violence, perversion and laziness known to the planet! So why do parents keep following the world’s advice over the Bible? Sadly, many parents have been convinced that spanking their children is the same as child abuse. They believe the lie of our “politically correct culture” that teaches punishment shouldn’t hurt.
This kind of thinking has even lead to the removal of the death penalty for murderers and rapists in many states. Our courts and prison systems are a joke to most criminals. The reason criminals have no fear or respect for the law is because it has no sense of real pain or finality. There’s always a way for savvy criminals to avoid justice and punishment.
Someone might ask, “What about the parents that have abused their kids?” Well, the answer is simple; punish the abusive parents. King Solomon is clear, those who truly love their children will spank them, but those who hate them will not discipline them. We don’t get to change God’s commands because people do it wrong (abuse) or don’t do it all (disuse).
Just because someone misuses spanking with his or her children and abuses them doesn’t mean we should reject God’s command to use it. Abuse and misuse shouldn’t lead to disuse, but rather proper use.
Here are eight helpful advices on spanking your child in love; (1) Never spank out of anger, (2) Only spank 2-3x to give the sense of light pain, (3) Don’t injure or cause bruising to any part of your child’s body, (3) Only spank on their butt or on the hand, (4) Don’t spank more than 2-3x in a day, (5) Never spank with your full strength, (6) Always give a teaching before and after the spanking so your child can understand why they are getting spanked, (7) After the spanking, comfort your child to let them know you still love them and (8) Remember, spanking is less successful after 10-11 years old. Be sensitive to when to discontinue the practice.
If you cannot follow the guidelines, then please don’t spank your child. Know your limits because you may injure your child if you’re not careful. At the same time, I believe by the power of the Holy Spirit, God can lead you to discipline your children in a healthy way that will show your love for them by reminding them of the consequences of sin. A wise person once said, “We discipline our children for their own sake. But we do it in such a way that when they are older they will thank us for it.”
Special Note: Please report any signs of child abuse to a trusted leader in your community; police, pastors, etc. If you have ever abused your children seek professional help immediately.
Reflection
Action
- Repent of any wrong thinking you may have had about spanking; whether to not do it at all or to do it in an abusive way.
- Ask God to teach you the best way to discipline your child.
- Next time you discipline your child, remember your heavenly Father is watching and one day He will judge you on how you raised your children.